__________________EPISODE 3 PART 5______________________________


I ran. I ran, and ran. I headed to the maze of Warehouses, trying to loose my would be captors. I ran inside a suitable building far into the jumble. Hiding among the porn, I held my breath, mostly because the magazines stank with what I hoped was fish.

I sat there for maybe five minutes, before I heard footsteps coming into the building in which I was hiding. I stiffened, the footsteps came closer until the owner of the feet was right infront of my hiding place, then they slowly passed by. I relaxed a bit, and leaned my head against the box behind me, and as I did that, something in the box rattled. The retreating footsteps paused, and I held my breath. The owner of the feet came back towards where I was hiding.

The person started to bend down, I shivered, and was saved by a phone ringing in the warehouse.

The feet moved towards the ringing, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I heard the phone being picked up, and I knew I had to get out of there. I poked my head out from behind the box to see where my pursuer was, I was in luck, she, for the feet belonged to a woman wearing red high heels, was looking away from my direction. I made use of my great fortune, and ran out the door as I heard these words come from the lady, being directed to the phone:

"There is a lot of porn here."

I didn't have the chance to hear anymore, I was out of there. I ran. I ran, and ran.

I ran all the way back to the office, only stopping seventeen times to catch my breath, aristocrats are not known for their cardio-vascular expertise. I burst into the office.

"Oh my god! Ben! Your hat? Where is it?" Beth was looking down at me from over her desk, I looked back at her, from the floor, where I had collapsed.

"I...Seren...captured..." I couldn't go on, but she understood what I was saying, and helped me to the one of the very hopeful waiting room chairs.

"It's alright, here, let me get you some water."

Beth left the office, for the only water around was down the hall, in the bathroom. I took that time, using my last energy, to run into the inner office, press the secret button beneath the desk, run back into the outer office/waiting room, and sit back on the chair just as the door opened revealing Beth carrying a large glass of water.

"Here, take a drink, and tell me what happened."

I took the glass from her, and gulped it down, splashing the last onto my sweaty hatless head. Taking a few breaths, I told her the entire story, ending with my dramatic entrance into the office.

"Oh. Well, what are we going to do.. I mean, we can't just leave him there. And your hat..."

Beth was quite concerned, as was I.
"Well, to answer your first question: We are going to rescue him. As for your other question..."
I walked into the inner office, pausing in front of the bookcase. After pulling out a book, I pressed a hidden button behind it. out of wall popped a new hat, containing all the items in the old hat.

"Wow, when did you have that installed?"

"Last Tuesday, now hurry, we have to meet someone down by the train station" Stepping quickly, we exited the office, and made it to the train station within fifteen minutes, after walking everywhere, you got to know all the shortcuts.

"Who are we meeting?"

Beth asked me who we were meeting.
"Oh, an old friend, you will see soon" I was so flustered, that I had not yet realized that I was talking out of code.

We waiting twenty minutes, nothing. We waiting twenty more minutes, and still nothing. Beth started to get annoyed.

"Ben, we've been here for over twenty minutes, when is he getting here?"

"Actually, we have been waiting over forty minutes, but who is counting anyway, just be patient, he will be here." And sure enough, twenty minutes later he arrived.

"Ben, I don't like the look of this man..."

Beth didn't like the look of the man, and she told me so, whispering of course.
"He is a good man, shady at times, but good."
I walked over to the man, and tipped my hat to him.
"Thank you for responding to my signal, Kitano, the worst has happened."

"We all knew it would happen eventually, and it's the least I can do to help you, after what you did for me."

The man was of Chinese decent, and had a mysterious background, involving martial arts, gang fights, and a quilting business, which was a front for other nefarious activities. Also no one had ever thought to ask him why he had a Japanese name.

Seren and I met him on one of our many detective missions, involving a vase, an isle, and other such things, we saved his life. However that was another story, and right now, I was getting anxious.

"We best get going," I looked up at the sky, since Seren and I had left in the morning, the sun had stayed unobstructed, there was not a cloud in the sky. This certainly was not a good day for Seren, I on the other hand could have cared less about the weather.

"Very well. As an ancient proverb once said: 'A man without rain is a man in great pain.'"

I looked to Beth to see if she was ready.

"Whenever you are."

She had mentally sensed that I had meant to speak the words 'are you ready' and just responded automatically.

"Then we go forth!" I pronounced, fixing my hat on my head for it had slipped during the time we were waiting.

I figured that the first place that we should investigate was the docks. Perhaps pier 15 would give us the answer.

--------------------------------


We arrived at pier 15 just as the sun started to set, which was perfect, because this type of skulking about required only a small amount of light to be sufficiently skulk worthy.

We made our way down under the pier, having first procured a boat. I could see nothing underneath the structure, maybe the low light was not such a good idea. I was about to pass it off as a bad lead when Beth spoke up.

"What's that feather doing over there?"

I looked to were she was pointing, and there, stuck in a crack in one of the boards, was a medium sized duck feather. We brought the boat to where the feather was sticking out of the pier, and I pulled out the feather as Kitano also spoke up.

"As an old proverb once said, 'A trail of bird feathers can lead to bad weather."

"You are a bird in a car tire." I replied, his constant use of proverbs reminded me that I was supposed to be talking in code.


In any case, he was right, there was a trail of duck feathers stuck in other cracks in the wood, going all the way to the edge of the underside of the pier. I wondered where they went.

"I ponder of the ties" I said casually to Beth and Kitano.

"Hmmm.... You said that that man was killed by suffocation from duck feathers?" Enquired Beth, understanding my code right away.

"Quite obtusely." I told her.

"So, what if the spammers, carrying a lot of duck feathers, dropped a few.... It would lead us right to the source!"

"QUOTH THE RAVEN, 'NEVERMORE'!" I exclaimed, she was right. As we left pier 15, following the trail of feathers, I pondered about who the man on the phone was, and what we were going to find at the end of the trail of feathers.

The trail ended quite a ways away, certainly no where within the main part of the city, I was surprised at how many feathers there were, and that they managed to be placed at such steady intervals from each other.

It was about midnight when we found the end of the trail, and what we found there was quite shocking.

We were standing in front of a large Victorian manor, with a huge gravel drive and a wrought iron fence with a gate.

It was Kitano's time to shine.

"As an old proverb once said, 'If there are iron gates, beat the hell out of them with the nearest stick that you can find, and then walk in, followed closely behind by your companions.'"

I agreed, and soon enough, we were following closely behind him as he snuck past the wreckage of the gate.

"That was some serious beating you did.. I didn't know that a stick could do that much damage..." Beth was quite impressed with him.


There was no doubt that this was one of the many spammers headquarters, maybe even THE headquarters, the headquarters of all headquarters.

"This looks like it could be one of the many spammer's headquarters.... Oh my god. It could even be THE Spammer's headquarters."

Beth was right, it probably was THE Spammers headquarters.

"As an old proverb once said, 'These might be THE Spammer's headquarters, and certainly not underneath waters.'"

We had made our way to the Manor's side door, and I motioned at Kitano to go first.
"Grass must be cleaned."
He looked at me, and then edged his way next to the door, slowly opening it slightly, and peering in. He gave me an OK signal, and said:

"As an ancient proverb once said, 'If the way is clear, get in and brew the beer.'"

He moved in, and Beth followed, with myself picking up the rear.

We made our way in through the manor, and down the stairs without seeing anyone, whether that was pure luck, or otherwise, I did not know. I had already assumed that Seren would not be above ground, and I could tell that all the action was downstairs from the sound of it.

As we came out of the stairwell, we bumped into two men, and one woman, all wearing uniforms. I rolled my eyes as the obviousness of the situation hit me head on.

Five minutes later, we were all wearing uniforms, which surprisingly fit quite well, I had tucked my hat away in the pocket of my pants.

"These shirts are awfully itchy."

"The turtles are free," I agreed with her, "yet the fire is strong."

"As an old proverb once said,'If the doorway is ahead, enter it, and find food and a bed."

Beth looked at Kitano, and replied.

"Why do you always talk in proverbs?"

I looked at Beth, and wondered why she had waited until now to comment on his extensive use of proverbs. Kitano just glanced in her direction, and opened the door ahead of him.

On the other side of the door, was a large recreational room, which was being decorated for some form of party. There were approximately 15 people in the room, and none of them gave us more than a passing glance, which meant that the disguise was working.

We quickly went through the room, passing by a man that smelled like fish, and a pimply teenager who looked quite out of place, then we were out into a hallway being passed by numerous other people who also didn't spare more than a passing glance. Passing glances were in abundance here.

Beth, and Kitano were having a muffled conversation as we walked down the hallway trying to figure out where they would hold a prisoner.

"Where did you learn all of these proverbs?"

"As an anicent proverb once said, 'That information is classified, that information is PETRIFIED!'"

"I see... so.. When did you and Ben and Seren meet?"

"In the cracks of tiana, on the isle of tiana. In the sea of Tiana."

"Who's tiana?"

That is when I stopped them.

I turned to them, and said.
"We must seal the fire." I did not want them talking about such things here, I had known for a while now that the spammers wanted the vase, and the key. Seren did not know about the key however, the key, was safely stored in my pocket, as it always was.

Kitano nodded, and once again, started to lead the way. He seemed to know where they would be holding Seren. I had my own idea where they would be holding him, but for now I kept it to myself, hoping that I was wrong.

He led us down another hallway adjacent to the one we were in previously. This new hallway was dimly lit, and looked much more shabby than the other one, which had been recently painted. As Kitano took us further into the building, the quality of the decor diminished.

I pointed this out to Beth, "See the tireless birds?"

"I know, who is their decorator?"

"As an ancient proverb once said, 'It is not what your walls are covered in, it is if they have termites that matters.'"

Beth, being a woman, did not understand what I was getting at. Neither had Kitano for that matter. Once again, I pointed to the peeling wallpaper, and said, "Don't you see the tireless birds?"

"If it is important, just tell us."

I sighed, walked up the the wall, and started peeling back the wallpaper. What was revealed, was an even older wallpaper, it had rubber duckies on it.

"Ducks!"

"As an ancient proverb once said, 'Follow the feathers, and don't wear leather.'"

We continued down the hall, with Kitano in the lead. We turned a corner, and walked right into a door. A couple of people who happened to be in the corridor a the time quickly looked our way. Beth laughed nervously, and quickly made up an excuse.

"There didn't used to be a door here."

The people in the hall just shook their heads, and walked away. Breathing a sigh of relief, I opened the door, and took the lead. I knew where we were, I had seen the same ducky wallpaper in the interrogation chambers of the other Spammer's headquarters back when I myself was a Spammer.

This, however, was not where I believed they would be keeping Seren, it was were I hoped they would be keeping him.

"As an ancient proverb once said, 'There are only so many rooms in the world, one day, you might have to build a new one.'"

Both Beth and I were startled by Kitano, we had been staring around the room we had just entered, and to be so abruptly pulled back into reality, was shocking. The room seemed out of place from the dilapidated hallway that we had just come from. Everything in this room was brand new, the walls were pure white, there were ferns in the corner, and a large desk in the middle.

"It looks like..." Beth started.

"A proverb once said, ' It may look like it, but that does not mean it is a stick.'"

"A cow is not a tree" I added.

"But.. it looks so much like..." Beth started again.

"Ancient proverb, blah blah, 'No it doesn't. Now shush.'"

It was like watching a tennis tournament. I just watched the two of them as they argued about what I knew was true. It did look exactly like it.

"I swear, it looks like an exact..."

"Proverbs once said, 'IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT.'"

"But... that desk, its like..."

"No."

"IT IS!"

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"Yes"

"HAH!"

"Damn."

The lady at the desk had noticed our arrival, and had come over to see what the fuss was about.
"Are you lost?" Beth, who seemed to be the only one of us that could talk properly, told the lady that we were on official business.

"We are here on official business."

"Official Business?"

"Yes, Official Business."

"What kind of Official Business?"

"The official kind"

"I see, and may I ask what this Official Business entails?"

"No"

"May I see your official permit to conduct Official Business?"

"No."

"May I see your official permit to deny me access to your official permit to conduct Official Business?"

"Yes."


Beth turned to me and whispered into my ear.

"Is there something in your hat?"

"Freedom" I whispered back, and put my hand into the pocket of the uniform where I had stored my hat. It was really hard to search for something inside the hat without taking it out, but if I took it out, I ran the risk of the lady recognizing it. After about 2 minutes of fishing, I pulled out a piece of official looking paper from my days as a Spammer, and handed it to the lady.

"This is really old. But everything seems to be in order here, go ahead and conduct your Official Business." She seemed put off at not being allowed to know what the Official Business was, so she went back to her desk, and ignored us.

I turned back to Beth and Kitano, and stopped them before they started arguing again. "We have to start a tree here."

"As an ancient proverb once said, 'To find a way, you must first follow the light of day.'"

Beth however, had something useful to say. "He isn't here."

"I know," I said out of code, the idea of this chilled me, because if he wasn't here...

I moved towards the Interrogation chambers, looking into each window in desperate hope that perhaps Seren would be in one of them, however he was not.

I put my hands to my head, and pulled my hair backwards, as I always do when I am stressed, and not wearing my hat. I paced back and forth a few times, then started to run down the hall, and through another door. I ran through a series of halls and doors, Beth and Kitano following me, confused as to where I was headed.

I finally came to a stop at the end of a really long corridor that ended in a heavy metal door.

Holding my breath, I looked in the glass window near the top of the door.

A tear rolled down my cheek. I heard Beth gasp behind me. Kitano remained silent. We were looking at the door to the Spammer's morgue.

I opened the heavy door, and felt the change in temperature at once. The room was empty, but at the same time, it was quite full. I walked up to the only occupied tray in the room. Standing before it, I had to force myself to lift the white cloth. Beth fell to the floor. Kitano went to her, and knelt down. I continued to stare at the revealed face.

The body was naked, and it looked like he was being prepared for an autopsy. I had to get him out of here, I couldn't allow them to mutilate him. I grabbed his body by the arms, and motioned at Kitano to take his legs. The sheet managed to stay on his torso as we slowly carried him out. Beth had recovered, and opened the door, which had closed on its own weight, as we took Seren's lifeless body through into the hall.

As the door closed behind us, I collapsed, dropping Seren to the ground. Kitano slowly lowered Seren's legs to the floor.

Beth and I were in shock, Kitano however was not close to Seren, or myself for that matter, so he was not quite as effected.
It came even more as a shock when Seren took a huge gasping, coughing, rattling breath.


"Wha, where am I?"

"Oh my lord, Seren. Thank the heavens you are alive." Beth practically pounced on Seren, and gave him a huge hug.

"We were terribly burdened by the storms of lettuce." I told him as he slowly sat up, and noticed that he was only covered by a white blanket.

"Why am I naked?"

"Well, they were humbled by the knife of the night." I told him that they were preparing to do an autopsy.

"We should check the room to see if your clothes are in there" Beth added.

"As an ancient proverb once said,'A man naked is a man without clothes.'"

"Kitano? Is that you?"

"As an ancient proverb once said, 'Recognize a man, and you may have a plan.'"


"Its good to see you"

"As an ancient proverb once said, 'Lost in a web of spiders, is a man, none the smarter.'"

As Beth was searching through the morgue for Seren's clothing, I asked him something I had been worried about the entire time, "Is the Vase safe?" There was no other way to say it, I had to be certain he understood me.

"I fear that it may not be."

"As an ancient proverb once said, 'A man unsure is a man untrue.'"

Beth came back into the hallway, carrying a pile of Seren's folded clothing, and started to hand them to Seren. Before he could take the clothes, I grabbed them from Beth's hands, and started searching through the pockets.

"What do you hope to find?"

Ignoring him, I continued my search, finally finding what I was looking for. As I pulled it out of the pocket, it regained its normal size.
"Your hat!" Beth exclaimed.

"I thought they would have taken that..."

I explained that the hat, when in danger, would shrink to near microscopic proportions, and seek out a dark and enclosed area.

"Wow, that is one amazing hat," said Beth

"As an ancient proverb once said, 'A head ornament can be much more than a head ornament.'"

I handed Seren his clothes back.

"Erm, could I have a little... just... turn around."

Beth giggled, and we all turned the other way to give Seren some privacy, not that Seren had any privacy back at the office, seeing as how we all slept in the same room.

Clothing rustled, and then Seren announced that it was okay to look.
sw says:
"You can turn around now."
BENZ says:
Turning around, Beth mentioned to Seren that his clothing would be noticed by the Spammers.

"Your clothing will be noticed by the Spammers."

"We can turn the gates," I mentioned, meaning that we could rustle up a uniform.

"Wait, before we go on... is it raining?"

"It wasn't when we came in."
Seren sighed, and said that we had better get going.


I agreed, and we started down the hall, and came upon another convenient, and walking source of uniform for Seren, who quickly got dressed again.

"Well, lets get going."

And once again, we were off, back through into the area with the interrogation chambers, and out into the office.

"This office looks quite a bit like our old one..."

"HAH! TOLD YOU." Beth yelled at Kitano.

"An ancient proverb once said, 'When denying the truth, make sure you do it in the safety of a shielded and enclosed booth.'"

At Beth's yell, the secretary looked over, and noticed Seren.

"HEY YOU!! YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ALIVE, SECURITY, SECURITY!!!"

Sounds of running footsteps coming from all directions except one. We ran into the hallway ahead of us, fleeing from our pursuers.

We ran through the door at the end of the hallway, and into a huge underground parking lot filled with row upon row of black cars.

I quickly took us to one of the parked cars, smashed open the drivers side window, and unlocked it. I unlocked the other doors, and started to hot wire the car as the rest of the group got in. Seren was wheezing away, because he had just returned from a point of near death.

Starting the car, I took us out of the parking lot via a newly made hole in the garage door, which was closed.

The guards chased us all the way to the end of the drive, and stood there shaking their fists. Beth turned to Seren, and asked him what it felt like to eat the tea leaf.

"I didn't.. I was knocked out by Jeffrey."

"Then why were you in that near death state? And who is Jeffrey?"
My ears piped up at the sound of that name. I shuddered, I remembered Jeffrey from my days as a spammer.

"Maybe the leaf fell into my mouth, I was holding it when I fell."

"What about this Jeffrey person, who is he?" Beth inquired, I shook my head at her, and she stopped. We were almost at the office, when Seren asked what the spammers might have wanted with the Vase of Tiana.

"What would the spammers have wanted with the Vase of Tiana?"

I cleared my throat, and spoke out of code, "I think they want to open the seal to the cave of Tiana, but they can't do it without the key," at which point, I pulled out a large intricate key, with an emerald in the middle of its shaft. They all looked at it in awe, and I quickly put it back in my pocket.

"They asked me about a key..."

"What is in the Cave of Tiana? And who is this Tiana lady?" Inquired Beth.

"Lady Tiana was leader of the Order of Ten who brought chaos to our world through various means, the cave holds their secrets. It requires the Vase and the Key  of Tiana, and 10 jewels, each representing one of the Order of Ten, to open."

"As an ancient proverb once said, 'All is true, but none is new.'"

"Shut up, Kitano." Beth was getting tired of hearing his random irrelevant proverbs. "Hey look, it's raining." And sure enough, thick droplets of water were hitting the windshield as we pulled into a parking space outside our building.

We had arrived at the office, and had just closed the door behind us, when the phone rang. Beth went over to it, and answered, "Ben and Seren's office, Beth speaking."

Seren and I said our goodbye's to Kitano, as Beth finished the conversation with the person on the other end of the phone. Kitano left the office just as Beth hung up.

"Well boys, it seems we have another client."



- end -